Eulogy/Dedication for my Father

Wesley Hiroshi Moribe

On a construction site in Honolulu, when the lunch bell whistle blew all the workers would sit down together to eat. And with singular regularity Kimo would open his lunch pail and start to complain. “Son of a gun!” he cry, “Not peanut butter and jelly sandwiches again. I hate peanut butter and jelly!

Kimo moaned and whined about his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches day after day after day. Weeks passed, and the other workers were getting irritated by his behavior. Finally, another man on the work crew said, fer crissakes, Kimo if you hate peanut butter and jelly so much, why don’t you tell your old lady to make you something different.

What do you mean ol’ lady? Kimo replied. I’m not married, I make my own sandwiches.

We all make our own sandwiches.

There is no one to control our lives but ourselves for those of you who wish you could have done something different to change the course of what has already passed. Please don’t destroy yourself over this because we as a family our dealing with it ourselves. What if we did this, or that, however, we did everything we could and more. This was the choice my dad made. It wasn’t the best choice but his choice alone.

Abe Lincoln once said that if he had six hours to chop down a tree, he would spend the first five hours sharpening his axe. We need to spend more time on our journey then our destination. To many times we look at the goal with out looking at the road.

Now I am a man that stands behind no church or religion, however I tell you that I’m a spiritual person and I do believe in the highest good. So with that

The sun will rise and the sun will set, the world will turn and our lives will go on. The choices we make are all our own. We look up to the lord and hold out our hand in hopes that Jesus will guide us to the light. Our hearts in the right place as our mind is in synch with our hearts. Nothing matters but righteous and goodness for mankind. We may never understand situations like these and we can only right ourselves. Life is not a straight line but a wavy line that can go up and down, circle left, circle right as long as our lives are pointing in the right direction, our lives will be guided in the right. Its all about our destination, however if you forget about the journey our lives are meaningless. You can’t look at the finish line without looking down and finding your first step. Change is inevitable and when we accept change the weight of burden leaves us. Finding peace within our selves we will be able to find peace in others. It’s not about reason but understanding one another. Leave pride and ego at home its all about understanding. Understanding one an other. We may not agree, but we can agree to disagree and we can understand each other. Life is not about winning or losing it’s about balance. Balancing our lives to be in sync with our souls

In a village deep in the jungle there lived a boy about 16 years old, that had no concept of technology but could read. One day he found a book, a driver’s manual. He learned it and memorized it. He has never seen a vehicle.

In a farmers yard a young boy about 16 years old helps his father in the farm. With no education he is able to drive the truck up and down the farm to help his father gather all the crops. He has never learned to read or even seen the driver’s manual

Now one day these 2 boys are at my home and I have to get to the store. Who do I trust my life with, the boy who memorized the manual or the boy who drives the truck everyday?

Sometimes we put our lives in the wrong hands. For my dad it was the devil disguised as his misunderstanding of the world around him. Don’t get it twisted the devil is as sneaky as it can be. It was not his fault that he did not understand the plan and he did not welcome change in his life. This is not part of the plan, and don’t let any one tell you otherwise. Taking your own life is never part of the plan. Let go of pride and honor and seek help if taking your life crosses your mind. If you believe there is a god and a Jesus, you must accept that there is evil. You don’t need to say you welcome it to your life but you must understand its there. To many people these days say evil is there but its not, because everything has a purpose slash plan. How can you tell us family that my dad was put on here to bring life then take his own? It was not part of the plan, but like bamboo we eventually right ourselves. Evil is here like god is here. Hence why you see the chaos in the word, people stealing, people slandering, people killing and people even taking there own lives. Don’t get it twisted the devil will go church with you. Just look around the church one day, and see the people who sin during the week. It doesn’t make them bad people and it sure doesn’t make them good people; however we must understand that there is evil out there and we must not welcome it into our lives. The greatest trick the devil ever played was making us believe he never existed. My dad is gone, not because god said this is the path. And if you tell me otherwise and this was part of the plan, I will slap you in your face and say don’t get mad, that was part of the plan.

Our dad is a good surfer, he is a good farmer, he is a good fisherman, he is a good dad, he is a good man. In our lives we can be known at being good at something. We can be known as a good surfer like my dad or a good fisherman or a good farmer or a good mechanic or a good chef like my brothers or a good mom like my mom or you can also be known as a good person.

If I do something good today, people will say “Rex did something good today.” I do good again the next day and they will say “wow Rex is something else he did another good thing.” If this continues on day after day, people will say “wow Rex is a good man.” If anything when I die I would like to be known as a good man, like my dad. Not a good bodyboarder, not a good systems engineer, not even a good lover. Nothing else matters. I’ll take off my shirt in order to keep you warm. You ask for some vegetables I’ll fill up my truck and drop off extra. You fall I’ll pick you up, you hungry I’ll bring you food and for your friends. What matters most is being a good person.

Before you can see the light, you have to deal with the darkness. Many people have a hard time dealing with the darkness, but I tell you there is light in the tunnel you just need to strive ahead. Baby steps are still steps in the right direction.

I like to think of us Moribes as a pond. The Moribe pond and yes the pond gets ripples from stones that are dropped into our pond. From obstacles to family drama, we deal with the ripples and life goes on. But this stone right now is more like a 1 ton boulder that rocked our pond. Now we have all our friends and family ridding the wave with us. And we all thank you for this. This is what gets us through the day.

But there will be a day when the pond is still and the riders have left our pond to clean there own ponds, however we Moribes will have to learn how to live with this 1-ton boulder that is in our pond. And this will be the hard-times, the tuff times. So I welcome all of you to once in a while come swimming in our pond when the pond is still again and no one is around, because this will get us through a life time.

On Molokai there was a student, Dan and a teacher Mama Chia walking along the beach. As they walked Dan stopped mid step and was awestruck by this massive marine graveyard of starfish. Now confronted by thousands of dying creatures washing up on the beach, he felt numb and helpless.

Mama Chia, however with out missing a single limping step, walked over to a nearby starfish, bent over, picked it up, walked to the waters edge and placed it in the water. She then walked back and picked up another little starfish, and returned the starfish to the sea.

Completely overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of starfish, Dan said “Mama Chia, there are so many, how can what you’re doing make any difference?”

She looked up at Dan for a moment as she lowered another starfish into the sea “It makes a difference to this one” she replied

As we see the world taking a spiraling twirl of recession, depression. We see more unemployed, more homeless, more sick, more people on drugs and this may discouraged us from helping. However when a man is down on his knees begging for help, please don’t turn you back but offer a helping hand. We as a family tried to force my dad into therapy however like a samurai he refused any outside help. So I ask you all that if a man is in need, hold out your hand and help. Yes the lord is strong but like the saying goes in the Middle East. “Trust God but, you know, tie up your camel.” Meaning put faith in the lord, but you still need to tie up your camel, or lock your car, or fix your family or even fix yourself.

Now it s time for change, things in our family need to be changed. Communication must be changed, the man of the house must be changed. However I tell you this, my dad, as quiet as he is, he will never ever be replaced. He is my dad, he is my blood, he is my love, and he is forever my guidance to being a good person. Thank you dad for placing food on our table, thank you dad for teaching us how to fish, thank you dad for letting all our friends stay over, and thank you dad for sharing laughs with us . I love you forever and I pray for you forever. I ask you all to pray for my dad, not from repetition but from the heart that my dad gets a chance for the everlasting light. We need to pray that the lord forgives him for his confusion and frustration with the world that surrounded him. Happiness is not seeked but attained by understanding. Do me a favor and every morning thank god for the things you have not by the things you don’t have. And trust me your day will be that much better, because we get too greedy these days thinking we don’t have enough when we have well too much. Being thankful for the things we have is much better then be hateful for the things we don’t have.

The last time I saw my dad was in late July of this year. I spent a couple of days here on Kauai with my friend and watched boots get married. An early flight back to Oahu, we packed and jumped into our rental car and drove to the airport. Half way to the airport I realized I didn’t have my glasses, right at that moment my mom called and said that my dad was on his way to the airport to drop my glasses off. In shock I got mad because I didn’t want my dad to drive just to drop off my glasses, however as a good-hearted-stubborn man he still drove to the airport. By the time we dropped off the car he was right there with my glasses. I quickly grabbed them and he said he loved me; I thanked him and ran to the catch the plane. That was the last time I saw my dad.

Sept 17, 2008. I went to a bar near my home to watch guy Cruz play music. To my surprise guy, john, Ernie, and daughter Cruz was there. It was one of the most amazing nights to watch music at my local spot. I think I was the youngest one there partying with all the old timers and talking about the good old days of music. I thought to myself wow this a great birthday present for myself.

4 in morning on the 18th, my mom called with the tragic news. I mourned that morning and in shock I decided not to go home to Kauai on my birthday and instead I drove to the north shore to clear my head. I looked around the house for my glasses and couldn’t find it, I thought to myself that it would turn up. That night when I packed my things to go home the next day, I turned everything upside down and called the bar to see if they had my glasses. I lost my glasses and this time my dad wasn’t there to find it and give it back to me.

You may never understand my dad like we did. He was a man with few words. My dad was there to straighten us up and my mom is…Supermom. My dad taught us how to fish in his own way, which was one way. If you know my dad, you know what I mean. One of my favorite memories of my dad was when I was very young. I can’t remember when it was. But it probably was when I was about 8 years old on my dads boat. I went fishing with him and we were trolling for ahi. My dad caught an ahi and he reeled it in and gaffed the fish. He told me to help him pull it in, so I pulled the gaff all 40 pounds of me to hold this 100 plus fish onto the boat. We got stuck mid way and my dad needed another gaff to catch a grip to the fish and he said Rex hold on while I grab the other gaff and before I could say no, my dad let go of the gaff and the gaff slipped out of my hand. And we lost the gaff and the 100 plus ahi. I quickly thought to myself that my dad would be mad at me for letting go of the fish and gaff, but instead he said I guess we got to catch one more. The more I thought about it he had the faith that his 40 pound son could hold this 100 plus fish up. This is my dad, the faith in his sons. That day we caught 3 ahi’s, 100 plus pounds. I was really happy to redeem myself and prove that I could hang with my dad. I will never forget this day, since this is the day my dad put faith into me.

I told my dad I loved him once. He tried to kill himself for the 2nd time and I told him over the phone that I loved him. Now for a Moribe to drop an L-bomb within the family is harder then saying I hate you. The first time I said I love you was to my first girlfriend at 18. This was our lives, the lives of a warrior of a samurai. Show no weakness and that included love. But I am happy that I told my dad I loved him, it took 27 years to tell him this but at least I told him once. Now I’m 28 and 9 days old I like to say in front of everyone that I love my mom. I never told my mom I loved her. It took something tragic to change the course of our lives; however change is for the better. So yes after 28 years and 9 days, I love you mom, I love you with all my heart. No one will stand between us. And yes for the 2nd time I love you dad. I always loved you. I always loved you but I showed you in a samurai way, by showing you. I did well in school, I surfed well, I got a great job that was my way of showing that I loved and honored my family. You would never think this would happen to you but it has happen to us, and I hope that no one else has to go through this. He left behind 3 handsome sons, one which is still single and a beautiful wife that many thought was his daughter because she looked so young. We all honor you dad in everything we do.

There is no way to peace

Peace is the way

There is no way to happiness

Happiness is the way

There is no way to love

Love is the way

So my last story is this

A mother brought her young son to Gandhi, she begged, “Please Gandi. Tell my son to stop eating sugar. Gandhi paused, then said “bring your son back in two weeks” puzzled, the woman thanked him and said that she would do as he had asked

Two week later, she returned with her son. Gandhi looked the youngster in the eye and said “stop eating sugar”

Grateful but bewildered, the woman asked “why did you tell me to bring him back in two weeks? You could have told him the same thing 2 weeks ago”

Gandhi replied “two weeks ago, I was eating sugar”

I am not Gandhi, I am not perfect and I cannot tell you what to do or how to think, however I still ask everyone to try to be a good person. And if you can be a good person, you will be remembered well, like my dad. If we can learn anything from this, it’s that taking your life is never an option. Mental illness these days are not looked upon seriously and suicide is usually brushed under the bed. But please take these things seriously since this could happen to any family.

As the days pass, we are hearing more stories of other people who were thinking about taking there own lives. However, now that they see our family in pain, they say that they will never think about taking there own lives again.

The loss of my dad has already changed the course for 3 other people. Even though he took his life, he has saved 3 and I hope and pray god will one day forgive him, because as a family we already have. We don’t forgive him, we honor him. We honor you dad.

Great Spirit, Called by many names, we ask to be placed in the light. We ask for your protection for this soul, Wesley Hiroshi Moribe. In the name of the one, and with that authority, we ask that any and all evil be cut off and removed from him, sealed in its own light and returned to it source. We ask that whatever may come be for his highest good. May thy will be done. Amen

By Rex Moribe